Do you dream about me???????

WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES by: Night Ranger

What do you do
When it's falling apart
And you know it was going
From the very start
Do you close your eyes
And dream about me
A girl in love
With a gleam in your eye
I was a yonger boy
All dressed in white
We're older now
I bet you still think about me

I remember we learned about love
In the back of a Chevrolet
Well it felt so good to be young
Feels like yesterday

When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me
When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me
Do you still dream about me

I guess I don't know what I'm thinking
Coming off a hard night of drinking
Angie come closer to me
I need a soul to bleed on
It could'a been done
In a different kinda way
But that ain't you
You play tough when you play
It's over now
I bet you still think about me

I remember I held you so tight
And we danced the night away
With the moves of two wide eyed kids
I need you so much today

When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me
When you close your eyes
Do you dream about me

I remember we learned about love
In the back of a Chevrolet
No good for an old memory
To mean so much today


As I was flipping through my XM channels, this song was on and I had to stop and listen. I think maybe this was the first time I had REALLY listened to the words of a song that I had heard so many times before. Never before had these words rang so true to me.

I guess I should start from the beginning. David was one of the first guys that I met back when I started at State. He was a suite-mate of some guys I went to high school with and I met him while visiting them. He was bragging about his large variety of music when I asked him if he had any Barry Manilow. I mean, come on. How many guys do you know that have Barry Manilow??? Well, lo and behold, he pulled out his collection. Yes, collection. :) We hit it off pretty well after that. He had a girlfriend that went to ECU, but that didn't stop the attraction we both had for each other. Thinking back, its hard to describe our relationship. We made out. A lot. But never slept together. (I had only been with my first love at that point and I still dealing with the effects of that lost relationship.) We never went to that point of what I would call being in a relationship. We continued being friends, but pulled back from the intimacy. Thinking back, I'm not sure why.

After my freshman year, we didn't see each other as much, but were always happy to see each other. Then many years later,after not seeing him for so long, I ran into David again at Crabtree Mall. It really was a wonderful feeling seeing him again. However, I had fallen in love with my Dave at that point. But David called me and we started hanging out again. Dave was on his Med cruise and I think David filled an emptiness. Nothing ever happened during this time. Probably because I tried to keep it that way. In the years since, I've often wished I had slept with him. Of all the guys that I could have slept with but didn't, he's the only one I still wonder if that was the right thing to have done.

David moved away. We lost touch. But I always had a feeling that we would see each other again. I mean, I was confident of it. Then about a year ago, he calls me. He had moved to Ft. Meyers and had come across my number while cleaning up. He thought he'd check to see if I was still at that number. And I was. We talked for just a few minutes. I guess the biggest thing I remember from that short conversation was that he had never married. Which I must say, really surprised me. He gave me his cell number and I wrote it in my calendar.

I never called his number until this past weekend. We had gone down to Ft. Lauderdale for a volleyball tournament. I thought this would be a great time to call. I *had a reason* to call. I was hoping that his cell number still worked. And he was in Ft. Meyers, about a 2 hour drive from where we were. Far enough away that it would be hard for him to come visit me. And sadly enough, I liked it that way. Why? Vanity. I didn't want him to see what I've become. Sigh. But you know, I gotta wonder if he feels that same thing as well.

So, I called him. Outside the hotel. Away from everyone else. I took him totally by surprise. We couldn't talk for long b/c he was at work. This time I found out he was in Miami. Only an hour away. I think I may have seen him if I was there alone. But I don't think he wanted to see me with David. Just a feeling. But I gave him my email addy and he sent me a quick email while we were talking. Nothing in it except *Hey its me. Thanks for the phone call.* I emailed him when we got into town on Sunday. I said it was great to talk to you again. I hope we can keep in touch. As of this moment, I haven't heard back from him.

Is he gay?? (I hope not. Out of all the guys I've known, he's one of the ones that would surprise me the most.) Is he in another relationship?? Does he still think about me?? Do I hold a special place in his memories that way that he does in mine? If we saw each other again, would our current loves be strong, when old feelings start to stir?

I don't know.